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Offer a neutral, face-saving optionInstead of “come with me,” try:
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“Let’s just get you home to rest.”
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“You can sleep it off. We’ll talk tomorrow.”
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“You don’t have to say anything.”
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If she refuses everyone and safety is at risk
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If she is:
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Extremely intoxicated
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Vomiting, incoherent, aggressive, or unable to stand
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In danger of being driven or abandoned
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Call for help (non-emergency police line or emergency services if needed).
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This is not punishment. It’s medical and safety intervention.
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About her boyfriend
He did the right thing by contacting you instead of driving her drunk. That matters. Even if emotions are high, keep him as an ally in this moment.
You can say to him:
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“Thank you for not driving her. Please stay where you are. I’m trying to help her safely.”
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After tonight (very important)
Do not try to resolve this emotionally tonight.
Tomorrow, when she’s sober:
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Start with concern, not control:
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“Last night scared me. I’m relieved you’re safe.”
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Avoid accusations.
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Let her tell her version before responding.
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Set clear safety boundaries, not moral judgments.
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One grounding reminder for you
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